The Value of a Purpose-Driven Pause
While I’m not a devotee of Brené Brown, I’ve certainly learned a great deal from her talks and writings about concepts such as vulnerability, trust, and leadership. Last week, however, she shared something I hadn’t encountered before: a single-post master class on the value of taking a pause.
The “too long; didn’t read” version: Rather than reflexively jumping into the fray about the ongoing kerfuffle regarding podcaster Joe Rogan and the platform Spotify, Brown instead opted to pause. Doing so gave her an opportunity to engage in thoughtful dialogue with Spotify leadership, and to form her own opinion—consistent with her values and beliefs—on what the next steps with her own podcast might be.
I was struck by Brown’s post because these days, hesitation can feel like a death knell. In this era of instantaneous communication, maximized efficiency, and constant reminders to “operate with a sense of urgency,” taking a pause can seem like a rookie move. Those in the know, conventional wisdom says, should be able to form an opinion or make a statement quickly—sometimes based on scant information—and come down decisively on an issue within moments. Bonus points for posting those decisions on social media before the news cycle moves on!
As I reflect on it more, though, I realized how hungry I am in my own life—both personal and professional—for brief respites. I’m a deliberate person by nature who needs time and mental space to consider the world I’m navigating. And as we prepare to enter the third year of the ongoing COVID pandemic, the deep fatigue and languishing that many people are experiencing would seem to make the case that all of us would benefit from more opportunities to rest and reset in our lives.
And while many of us have no doubt seen lists of ways to “take a break,” what I appreciated most about Brené’s example is how clear it was that her pause was purposeful: it provided her with time to consider, on her own terms, whether and how she might continue her podcast on a platform mired in controversy.
Most of us, however, don’t have a weekly podcast on Spotify. So how might pausing serve a purpose for us, and what might it look like in action? Here are just a few possibilities:
Pausing to Align Actions with Intention
As Brené Brown demonstrated, creating breathing space for thoughtful consideration allows us to be intentional in our actions. Rather than being caught up in the momentum of others’ actions and priorities, choosing to take a pause allows us to, as Brown puts it, get curious and ask questions. What questions might step forward into this void? I find it particularly helpful to reflect on questions that challenge me to align my actions with my values: Is the action I’m thinking of taking consistent with what I believe? Am I operating from a place of scarcity or abundance? In my professional actions, whose perspective am I amplifying, and whose am I quieting? It’s often only when I stop to check-in with myself that I clarify I’m making choices as a result of intention, rather than inertia.
Pausing to Express Care
Taking a pause can be a small but welcome gesture of care for others and their well-being. Many of us have become accustomed to back-to-back Zoom meetings; commiserating with colleagues about rushing from one meeting to the next feels commonplace these days. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so grateful for meeting hosts who, at the start of their meetings, encourage participants to close our eyes and take a few deep breaths, allowing us to re-center ourselves and find our focus. Learning from these experiences, I have begun scheduling virtual meetings at 10 or 15 minutes past the hour to give folks a period of transition and a chance to disconnect from their screens. This simple act of pausing the meeting conveyor belt—whether to make space for colleagues to get a glass of water, step outside for a bit of fresh air, or take a few moments to check on kids or snuggle a pet—feels like a tangible way of demonstrating our concern for one another.
Pausing to Birth New Ideas
In my own work as a facilitator, I’ve noticed how uncomfortable people are with silence. Asking a question that hangs in the air, unanswered, often leads to averted gazes and throat-clearing. I used to have this reaction myself to these occurrences of dead air, wanting to rush in to fill them with my own voice… until I started to reframe each of them as Pregnant Pauses. Unlike its better-known cousin, The Awkward Silence, whose presence elicits discomfort and weight-shifting fidgets whenever he enters a room, The Pregnant Pause is known for what she makes possible: the birthing of new ideas, reflections, and considerations. And so now, I choose to preemptively name the extended pause that could follow a question and defuse its awkwardness by instead acknowledging what it might empower: that the silence may give folks a chance to allow partly-shaped ideas to emerge from the depths and be brought, slowly, to the surface. What people share following these long pauses tends to be thoughtful, personal, and resonant, no doubt owing to the additional time they are allowed to form before being brought into light.
In what ways do you create moments of pause in your life? What purposes do these pauses help advance, for you or for others?